My Mom Would Get Paid 10x More If She Had My Corporate Job

The word housewife, to me, is now insulting.

I don’t think anything is wrong if you like being a wife, but attaching the word ‘house’ to it makes it sound limiting. Like your talents, your dreams, your individuality, and who you are to the outside world is limited to… your housework.

The word homemaker, on the other hand, sounds a little bit more meaningful. Everyone can build a house, but very few can make it a home. And when you say my mom is a homemaker, that’s precisely what she does. She gives you a safe place to go back to when the outside world feels too much & overwhelming after a really long day.

But here is where it goes downhill.

No matter what term you use, that designation is taken for granted. It means nothing compared to titles of CEO, Director, Manager, and even employee. You automatically equate your worth to be more because you work on a laptop, in an office, with a coffee machine & a surrounding that makes you feel important.

At least, where I come from, a homemaker is considered the most thankless job in the world. ‘You just sit at home all day, ‘You’re just on Facebook all the time, ‘Your work cannot be more important than mine, ‘My problems at work are bigger than yours at home, ‘You’re so lucky, you just have to sit at home and take care of groceries and laundry.

Does earning a salary give you the right to think you’re better?

The Accidental Homemaker

Not that I can call myself that, but for the sake of conversation, I became one for 2 months.

When the universe decided that I would be without a job, around the same time my parents had certain travel commitments, I had no option but to sit at home and look after things while my siblings went to work.

Oh, and I was privileged to have help, by the way. But on the days I did not, I realized (as an ex-lead/manager) that while I was temporarily filling in for my mom as the homemaker, there are actually a lot of similarities between what she did at home & what I did at work.

Resource allocation

In the office, we are applauded for excellent budgeting, for managing people & projects profitably, and for meeting the work needs of every team around us. But doesn’t a homemaker do the same? She manages tasks with different ‘departments’ like the cook, the mechanic, the technician, the laundry, the driver, the help, the store owner, the bank, the school, the doctor, the tailor, and the list goes on.

What’s more? In the office, if work increases, you hire additionally, as needed. But those women who have limited means at home, further take on more work with what they have. They reuse, repurpose, salvage, thrift, repair, and redo everything as much as possible in order to save as much.

I learned innovative resourcefulness from not a job, but from a homemaker.

Time management

When you’re unwell, you call in a sick day. And in good situations, get paid to take a break. At home, does she have a chance to call in sick leave? Will everything just stop to allow her to recover as a job would? Nope. You still need to eat. You still need clean clothes to wear. In the office, work may happen without you, but you don’t care. But does a homemaker take rest guilt-free?

Let’s not forget that we both get 24 hours. At the office, we manage to fit everything within work hours and hate it when that extends to our personal time. After a long 8 hours shift, we deserve to rest. But for a homemaker, the shift ends when the dishes are done and the kids are in bed for the night. There is no log-out time. Office work is a 9-5. Housework is extra hours, no extra pay.

I learned mental endurance through the smart distribution of time & energy to vital tasks, not from a job, but from a homemaker.

Inventory & maintenance

In the office, we have software and digital tools, and schedule time-sensitive meetings to make sure different demands are met. A homemaker, she has a paper, pen & mental map of the day so that she doesn’t forget to pick up eggs & milk on the way home. And medicine for that family member. And that favorite bread from that bakery that her children will enjoy.

I learned the presence of mind & attention to detail, not from a job, but from a homemaker.

Conflict resolution

At work, we attend expensive, layered workshops on how to have persistent conversations and solve conflicts within teams. We are trained to handle hard meetings; we learn about workplace psychology and pride ourselves on convincing educated people to act professionally.

A homemaker has to deal with multiple personalities without any prior training on how to handle them. When her children argue, when the landlord is being unreasonable, when the neighbors are overstepping and you need to get work from people from all walks of life. All without losing their temper, knowing what to do, and maintaining mutual respect.

I learned genuine public relations & strategic communications, not from a job, but from a homemaker. 

Multi-project tracking

My favorite.

In the office, we work within a niche-industry-level task list. Repeating them over and over till they become a skill set we can add to a resume. We are then able to group and manage multiple projects, create job status reports, and schedule de-brief meetings once they are closed. We celebrate with big project launches & post-work parties, giving us a feeling of accomplishment once something is done.

A homemaker, plans, executes & reviews work silently. Learning bits and bobs about plumping, mechanics, botany, nutrition, chemistry, healthcare, accounting, production, and negotiation, to apply to almost no 2 identical projects. Often alone, or sometimes with company that doesn’t realize the value of what may seem to be a small accomplishment, but took so much time to learn how to do it, all on her own. No email threads of a job well done or a rewards & recognition program. It’s just another day.

I learned macro & micro project level management & skill assessment, not from a job, but from a homemaker.

Why does it matter?

Does earning a salary make you entitled?

Especially when they are the reason you can do what you do at workplaces so well. Because they take care of the smallest of needs that you don’t even think of, in order to help you focus on your job.

Food on the table three times a day, clean clothes, dust-free counters, hygienic living conditions, that we are all so accustomed to, that it’s almost taken for granted.

As an employee that shifted to this role for 2 months, I know what that feels like. And I can’t say I was too happy about it.

And yes, not every household is the same, not every husband is unhelpful, and not every culture forces women to give up their own ambitions to be homemakers or even stay at home at all. Not all homemakers are even women, some can be stay-at-home husbands, sure. Gosh, some can also be the roles of both homemakers and an employee.

But the point is that whether you are aware or even respectful of the work they do, just because they don’t earn anything (but complaints from you.)

Do you appreciate their accomplishments and support them when they don’t feel too confident from time to time? Do you put their problems above yours and comfort them when they are tired? Do you pamper them after a long week of unreasonable expectations and spend quality time just listening to them too?

Proactivity in the workplace is valued, and upskilling employees is now encouraged. But what if I told you a homemaker does almost everything we do in an office, but under one establishment, with skills, she had learned, adapted, and experienced all on her own!

We admire powerful personalities in the workplace, but I am sure there must be someone behind the scenes who take care backstage while you enjoy the spotlight.

So this is to all the homemakers out there who question themselves & their capabilities, just because the world is not able to see how much value you bring to our lives. Just like my mom, this is for all those who help add meaning to our every day with the little things that make a big difference.

This awareness is the first step in being a little less oblivious, and a whole lot more grateful. And also thankful for everything they do. And hopefully being a little more proactively helpful!

As an employee who got a taste of this life, I can assure you that if my mom did my job and applied the skills that she knows. She’d get paid 10x more than I did.

Because that’s how talented homemakers are.

I wish the world just recognized it.

Happy birthday mom! I can’t afford to give you the world, (yet!) But I hope this was ok too :)

From,

Niki