Finding Purpose In Everyday Life

Humans are weird.

By weird I mean we are all basically a series of inconsequential paradoxes. When we want something, we spend our whole lives trying to get it. And when we have it, we say routine is boring and we need to do ‘something’ to break out of the monotony.

I question the balance in all this.

We want stability, don’t we? We want a comfortable career, don’t we? We want a focused routine, don’t we?

But why is it that when we acquire all these ‘wants’ we suddenly feel the need to switch them around?

Why do we keep tampering with stability?

Life is too stable? Do something exciting to bring in your wild side!

Everyday routine getting too monotonous? Shake it up and go on a soul searching holiday!

Haven’t we worked hard to get to that point in life? Then why work even more to try and fix something that isn’t broken?

And then I realized that there may be some reason behind why people choose to move around aspects of their everyday life.

After spending many weekends with an endless to-do list of life admin work, but not having the will or motivation to get anything done (even write on this blog) I found the answer to why people keep moving around the pawns in their life’s chessboard.

To have something to do, to have something to work towards, and to have a refreshed sense of purpose that keeps life interesting and exciting.

Now, I have written something on new beginnings and why you need to have something to look forward to- cue seamless hyper link to that article. But that was more on the lines of how refreshing starting something new can be.

But have you ever asked yourself those very existential questions like, why are you existing and for what? Why you are on this earth and what are you meant to do? Why are you eating French fries with Vanilla ice cream and why does it taste so good? Why?

But the more I think about it, the more I realized that finding that one big ball of reason and solution to your existence is one thing, and finding the purpose in the present moment is another. And sometimes, the bigger picture is actually just a composition of all the tiny little individual pictures.

What would life’s purpose then mean to us?

Maybe not everyone has that one big solution/ epiphany moment where their life’s meaning falls into place. Maybe some find solace in the purpose of living in the every day and focusing on that instead.

Maybe, some of us aren’t mean to find that why. And that is ohkay-

Is what I keep telling myself.

Because for the longest time, I kept surmounting this unreasonable pressure to have it all figured out by 30, which is not that far away! I don’t know what I want to do with my life, but I do know what I want to do next and that is good enough for me.

I am making peace with the fact that I don’t have a life’s purpose. But I do have a year/month/week/day’s purpose and I am ohkay with that.

I am ohkay knowing what I want to do in the short term and not where I see myself 10 years from now.

I am ohkay with making more short term goals to feel purpose in every day.

I am ohkay with the realization that sometimes my life’s purpose would be to fit into that pair of shorts, or binge-watching a TV show, or spend a day with family and friends.

I am ohkay with a smaller ‘why’ and a short term ‘why’ and make my bigger picture a collage of my everyday pictures.

And you should be ohkay with that too.

So I urge you and also assure you that sometimes, our life’s purpose would be smaller than what we had imagined it to be. But that doesn’t mean our dreams or ambitions are as small. We are just finding unique and simpler ways to stay motivated and inspired every day. And maybe that’s the end goal, or just an interim till we do have it sorted.

We all need something to look forward to.

Because all-in-all, at least we are constantly moving towards something. And I cannot stress the importance of having something to look forward to enough. It’s better to still keep moving, albeit slowly, instead of standing still.

So here are some of the things that you can do to shake up the inspiration jar:

Be present • Have a shorter to-do list • Keep a journal • Read more books • Spend more time outdoors • Re-discover something you loved growing up • Try a new restaurant • Listen to new music • Plan a holiday • Join a club • Take a walk on a new route • Chart out your week-month-year • Build a plan for your short term goals • Track your habits or make new ones • Learn a new skill • Take yourself out on a self-date • Meet new people • Wake up earlier • Replace coffee with fruit tea • Walk more • Find dogs to pet (this one is a game changer) • Meet up with friends • Cook something fancy at home- I made a really complicated lasagna. Took 3 hours to make it and 15 minutes to eat it. • Watch a movie from a new genre • Play some video games! • Try a new diet or fix your old one • Be more aware of yourself, your surroundings, and how you make the people around you feel.  

Once you have your source of something new, here is one methodical way of recognizing your purpose in the everyday.

Simplify one day at a time.

That is literally it.

No big gimmicks, no life-altering advice. Just take it one day at a time, and take it as it comes. And of course, enjoy the hustle of what every day brings.

Coming from a multitasker this wasn’t easy. At all. You’d think slowing things down would come naturally, but no. Simplification is harder than you may think:

Reducing your plans over the week • Fitting in careful agendas over the weekend • Selecting the number of social interactions you would like to participate in • Being present in those selective interactions • Not letting FOMO get to you • Being careful with the people you surround yourself with • Allowing yourself guilt-free downtime • Spending more time with family • Putting your phone away (I love this one) • Focusing on a max of 3 side projects at a time (Oh boy) • OR immersing yourself in one project at a time • Noticing the small things • Noticing the smaller moments • Being grateful more than you can count • Not feeling bad about prioritizing one thing, even if its work, for a little while but being sure to bounce right back • Eating with family at the dinner table • When was the last time you did something artsy? • Take it slow, take it easy despite keeping busy.

The truth is, there is no big secret on how to find your life’s purpose or discover what your purpose it. There is no big secret or fancy new tips. It’s all about what you do in the smaller moments of your day. And what cumulates because of it.

I never really understood when people indulge in activities to ‘kill time’ or to ‘spend time’ or basically, while away time. That interim ‘time’ is what is often as important as the main thing you’d want to experience. Those smaller moments of ‘time’ are the ones that formulate a bigger picture, remember?

And those smaller pockets of time cumulatively can surmount to something more effective in the future. Maybe a bigger purpose? Who knows :)

So I ask you,

What do you find meaning in everyday?

May you find purpose where you least expected it,

Niki :)