Hellos and hellos!

Wait, do you smell that?

It smells like to-do lists, resolutions, organizing goals, and gym memberships. Yes, it is finally that time of the year when people take the turn of the calendar as a good excuse to start fresh and pursue some ambitions that will help make this year, the best year ever.

Though I think there should never be the ‘perfect time to start afresh, I think even a new day or the next hour can be as good a time as any to reset.

But this time of year is when my love of checklists usually magnifies with the rest of the world. Organizing your life into a notebook? I live for that. Planning your time and routine into ideal little sections that cater to every part of your overall well-being? Sign me up!

Determining a schedule for spontaneous plans and free time? Well, now I realize that’s not how it works and there are better ways to do that.

But, amongst the ‘new year, new me’ buzz, as we all know, the world wasn’t mirroring our need for a fresh start. And I got sick.

And before I even got sick, a very big part of me just wasn’t tuning into the hype of resetting your life for the better anymore. At that time, I thought, what was the point? The world has made very little progress healing itself, there is not much I can do or places I can go to break the cycle of monotony. I miss traveling, I miss social events. Right now, my life is just eating, sleeping, working, and coffee.

What was the point of restarting your life’s computer where there really wasn’t any significant new software update? (Did I just make a tech pun?)

Most importantly, I just didn’t feel like it.

Snapping Out Of A Not-So Funky Funk

What people don’t realize about being stuck in a rut is the sheer effort it takes to snap yourself out of it. Especially when you have exhausted all the methods you have used before.

And this is not like some small-pep talk, just do it type rut. This is deep in your bones, questioning life and purpose and just why type funk. Where you don’t know how long you will be simmering in these murky waters before you get crystal clear blue clarity.

I just didn’t know what it was. Everyone around me had a routine going for themselves, which made me even more guilty for not doing a lot. Or feeling like they need to do a lot besides eating, work and sleep.

Was it a simple case of lack of motivation? Was I just tired? (Because I was sick) Was it mercury retrograde or my stars were majorly misaligned? (Yes, that’s what it was)

No amount of caffeine could fix it. No amount of sleep would make the brain fog go away. No amount of- ohkay let’s potato today and hustle tomorrow, maybe your body needs it- helped.

Whatever it was it sucked.

Now I duly respect the fact that this is indeed a privileged problem. If I was spending most of my time making ends meet then I wouldn’t even have the time to think about concepts like motivation and inspiration. And that was also what made me think twice.

And then I got really sick to the point I couldn’t do anything anyway because I was so tired, so that made it even worse. I was reduced to waking up to eat and then going back to sleep.

It’s funny how we don’t value, health, time, and energy when we have it. And when we don’t have it, we lament over when we’ll be ohkay again. Or wish we did the things we could do when we had the chance.

How To Get Unstuck

So, if life is not letting you plan for the big moments, then what is stopping you from living for the smaller moments?

Being Very (Very) Present

We all question the purpose and measure our lives by very specific milestones. For some, they are easily achievable but for me, I don’t have my next (big) milestone mapped out. So, does that mean I have nothing to look forward to because I have nothing planned?

Yeah, I am tired of that.

I no longer care if my biggest milestone of this year is the ability to get up at 6 am without an alarm. Or consistently posting the books I have read on IG. Or even finish a good deal of Korean lessons.

I am now going to live for the small stuff. The smaller moments that if you look really, really hard, will give you an unbelievable amount of satisfaction. Moments where you get a spark of happiness or excitement just thinking about it. Moments when you realize how fortunate you are and everything seems to feel like it’s going to be ohkay.

Taking Each Day As It Comes

These moments can literally be the things you experience every day. Here are some of mine:

Having Something To Look Forward To

Whether it is a big milestone or even small moments like I have mentioned above. Having something to look forward to creates anticipation and also a little bit of optimism. And maybe hope?

I think creating avenues for yourself where you have something to look forward to also opens up new opportunities to discover things you haven’t maybe tried before. And God knows we all need things to keep ourselves positively preoccupied.

Maybe that’s why I like KPop and KDrama so much. There is so much to look forward to, concerts, new music, new posts, and exposure to a new culture and the learning that comes with it.

And I know how this goes. One day the same things you find meaningful no longer carry the same amount of newness or excitement. They no longer hold that level of contentment and inevitably become part of your boring routine.

That’s when you create more effort to find other things to look forward to. It’s going to be hard, but in the wise words of Lilly Singh:

“Happiness is the only thing worth fighting for.”

And so dear friend, happiness is a lot of things. It’s in life’s big achievements that we center our entire well-being around, but it’s also in the small things that are often overlooked. It’s in acquiring new shiny things that we save up for, but it’s also in the things we have to be grateful for.

But whatever your means, I hope this piece gave you something to think about. Where does your happiness lie? What can you do to create things to look forward to?

And finally, why can we never decide what we want to eat?

To big, small, and happy moments in between,

Niki :)

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