I have always loved the concept of blogs.

And I have always (almost) had one since I was 15. I jumped from the OG MySpace, Blogger, Livejournal, Wordpress and finally settled on having my own domain.

A blog to me was symbolic of what period of life I was in. Where on MySpace, teenage rants were abundant, on Blogger & Wordpress favorite new interests were discovered and listed, and on Livejournal pensive thoughts flourished.

That is when I realized, I really do have a lot to say.

Chapter 1: Finding Your Voice

And when I started DaysOfRainAndSummer.com that was my pivotal moment to tell the world (and myself) that another part of life had just begun. I had a job, I was a working woman, the mechanics of my friendships and relationships were evolving, my comfortable sheltered academic world was changing and truly I was changing in a way too.

So I decided to keep a blog writing down all of the experiences of what it felt like to grow up, thinking if I could write down how I felt, then maybe I would be useful to someone going through the same thing.

Because growing up? Yeah, it’s not easy. Nor is dedicating a blog on the best ways to navigate certain problems we all face in adulthood. All the while knowing that there was this missing voice I was trying to find. I didn’t know anything about how to be the perfect adult, so how could I give other people advice?

That missing voice was an extension of who I was trying to become. I am not perfect, I don’t have all the answers. So that’s why everything I was trying to write felt forced. It felt like I was trying too hard to project this ideal outlook. All I could do was share my experiences and try to stay positive.

And somewhere in the middle point of having that blog, I realized what my voice was, I found an avenue of writing that I liked and all my pieces settled on a tone and an exploratory medium of self-discovery. Telling you, that this is what I am going through, and this is what I learned from it, and hopefully you could relate to this 20-something’s musings with a touch of intrigue.

Now this brought on another question.

Where I found a voice for my writing and my thoughts, I still lacked a voice for who I am.

And this question played on for a while, in many aspects.

Is it true that as you grow up, you lose parts of yourself that you loved as a kid? And do you force-fit who you are in these norms that society considers acceptable?

As you enter new worlds of career, life, and relationships, do you forget the very essence of who you are? And the things you like? And what makes you… you.

Do you forgo them because as you get older they are now attached with an unfair perception of immaturity and childishness than you promptly discard? And this new mature part of you now deserves a befitting background. So are you ashamed of the things you once liked? And who you once were?

Why?

Chapter 2: Staying True To Who You Are

How do you stay true to who you are no matter how much you grow up and face all these challenges in life that try to influence you?

As I looked over the articles I had once written on my older website, some felt awkward and immature, some I was ashamed of, and some I was incredibly proud of what I published. So, I decided to treat the answer of this question in the same way.

Relating how I felt about these articles to aspects of myself.

Some felt immature, because, despite it all, I was growing as a person. And we are allowed to mold and evolve parts of ourselves if it made us better, and as time passes and we notice shortcomings that can be worked on. (For the older articles, they will be updated and improved and posted in the near future.)

Some I was ashamed of, because I knew they simply had to go. There were no excuses, no reasoning, and no saving certain aspects of yourself when you know that they aren’t contributing to a better whole. They just have to be deleted. No second-guessing. (For those articles, they will respectfully stay in my archives)

And how about the ones that I was once proud of?

Well, after a few months simmering with the thought (and confusion), I decided that I am who I am, because I choose to be that person at that given time in a situation. (Similarly, those articles projected different sides of me that relayed what was important in my life at that given time.)

At work I could be serious Niki, at home I could be silly Niki, with friends I could be Niki that Cosplays and takes pictures with fun outfits. I decided that I can choose to project that part of myself that fits the situation the best.

I am proud and passionate about all of these aspects of myself. And I will continue to show the world what is important to me.

And that, everyone, is how we need to grow up.

Evolve aspects of yourselves regularly.

Delete aspects that are not serving you in any way.

And finally, keep, accept, and love aspects of yourself that make you happy and make you who you are.

You are not fake for doing so, you are not two-faced, and you are not doubting who you are. You are simply choosing to put that face out into the world depending on the situation and the environment that accepts it the best. And that, to me, is how I am going to treat this adult life.

Chapter 3: The Start

But wait, why the need for a blog refresh?

Oh, it’s simple.

Days Of Rain and Summer was a journey of how it felt like to be an adult. The name was associated with this person that thought she had solutions to all the problems she faced growing up.

The truth is I don’t know squat. I still don’t. And I’m okay admitting that now.

So instead of projecting ideal parts of my advent into adulthood, let me just show you how you can stay true to who you are no matter what age or what stage of life you are in.

Let me just show you moments in the every day that make up of those little self-discovery epiphanies that make life a little sweeter.

Let me also show you the things I love in KPop, Shows, Games, Books, Food, and Cosplay. And be proud of things I am passionate about. Things I need to show the world that make me… me.

And I will, in turn, use this blog as a medium to remind myself of who I am, what I love and what is important to me for many more years down the line.

Promising myself that no matter what life throws at me, there is this one space on the internet that is truly mine to say what I feel and remind myself of what I love- helping me stay true to who I am.

So I changed the website name to reflect…. Me. And this blog is an extension of me.

If I do change the name once more in the future, I know another pivotal moment in my life has come.

But for now, welcome to my new chapter. :)

Chapter 4: NikiJads.com

Wishing you big dreams and fresh beginnings,  

NikiJads