Of all the years that have taught me lessons, I think I learned the most this year.

Or maybe I was open to learning the most this year.

Even while I write this, on the first day of a new year, I am still learning a lesson. The fact that we don’t have to always do things the way they always were. Or force ourselves to feel ready when we aren’t.

I have been meaning to write a very deep, self-reflective post (as I do every year) for the last two weeks, but a part of me just wasn’t feeling it. And it wasn’t because I felt under-accomplished for everything that happened in the last year, but because a part of me felt like I was still struggling to measure my growth this year.

People value progress

But how much is that progress noticeable? And how much of that progress needs to be outwardly visible for you to feel that sense of validation?

I don’t think I have progressed that much this year, to be honest. I still weigh the same, I still struggle to find purpose, I haven’t learned a new skill and honestly everything about me still looks to be the same.

So if everything is exactly how it was, did I progress in life?

Or do I just need to look at myself differently?

Because outwards, things may not have changed much, but inwards, I don’t feel like the same person.

Finding the extra in the ordinary

This year, I have truly, truly understood the meaning of finding infinite happiness in the smallest of things. My year may have started and ended very differently, but those were not the milestones I am choosing to remember the year by.

I am choosing to remember:

FIXING. MY. SLEEP. SCHEDULE.

And finally, consistently waking up early. For years, years I have dreamt of the day I can say I can wake up at 6-7 am without an alarm (on most days). *taps mic* I would like to thank my help who consistently rings the doorbell at 7 am every day, forcing me to get up, brush my teeth and get the door. Now do I do something productive with that time? Err… that’s next year’s goal.

Book & KDramas

And the reason I club them together is because I resurrected my old blog IG handle and turned it into a KDrama review and a bookstagram! So I can finally keep track of all the shows I watch and share the ones I love with people who love them too!

Learning to cook… better.

Rome wasn’t built in a day but neither was my ability to tell the difference between cabbage and lettuce. But I experimented a lot this year and honestly, I can safely say that I can cook sometimes and enjoy it without it feeling like a chore. (I still prefer to be the eater though.)

BTS concerts & BTS merch

I feel like I am qualified to do a whole blog post on BTS merch stores in India. I have happily bought so. Much. STUFF. Also, to compensate for the BTSgoingonabreak thing. Oh man, but on a good note, the concert overload this year made me so happy being an ARMY.

Looking good & feeling good for yourself

I am by no means a makeup guru or a fashionista, and I still (mildly) hate shopping. But this year, I enjoyed finding new ways to wear my old clothes. I enjoyed trying new makeup styles and learning what suits me and what doesn’t. I enjoyed dressing up for my body type and not trying to fit into a store-bought standard. I enjoyed looking good purely for myself. And genuinely not caring if I am over or under people’s opinions as a single tall woman in my 30s.

Finding new ways to be creative

I really want to be good with words and also paint a picture with actual color. I want to be good at making art and then be confident enough to share it with the world. And I actually tried all sorts of creative things! Including my recent favorite, making BuJo spreads with things I already have. And maybe hoarded.

Coffee shop moments

Most of my insightful, self-reflective moments have come from sitting by myself, in a coffee shop, writing. I have written happy things, and I have written sad things. I have written things I am proud of and things… that I am still proud of even if it makes me cringe a little. I have found my peace between sips of mocha (w/ oat milk) and bites of a chocolate croissant. By myself, with my thoughts and maybe some Tenno. Okay, a lot of Tenno.

Guilt-free indulgence

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time” will continue to be a motto into the new year too. Purely because I haven’t mastered not feeling bad over spending time on ‘unproductive things.’ Wait. Correction. ‘Things’ hustle culture promotes making the best use of your time. But I have gotten way better at it. Now spending an afternoon watching a few KDrama episodes with snacks is considered a fulfilling self-care day.

Reconnecting with my childhood self, to understand who I am today

I know, that sounds heavy to me too. But really connecting with who you were growing up, says a lot about the traits and behaviors of who you are today. And actual reasons why you behave and act the way you do. Both good and bad. What motivates you, what discourages you, and what are the things that even trigger you? I got to know myself a little deeper with this exercise, which also happened by accident. It just started off with the mission of cleaning a few old boxes and discovering hidden parts of yourself that acted like buried treasure.

Really understanding empathy

When the universe decides to put you in someone else’s shoes, you walk. And you learn in new ways like never before.

And a few special mentions include:

The first sip of lemon dessert tea on a quiet weekday night 🖤 Cold mornings and very warm beds 🖤 Surprise favorite meals after a long work day 🖤 Empty cafes on an early morning 🖤 Successful baking attempts 🖤 A really good picture of my notebooks 🖤 Ginger tea and reading afternoons 🖤 Finding reasons to sigh-but happily 🖤 BTS concerts, not realizing it may be the last one for a while 🖤 People watching and heart-warming interactions 🖤 Long walks and good playlists 🖤 Being able to disconnect from your phone without anxiety 🖤

Learning to accept things for the way they are, and people for who they are.

Learning the power of being so present that you are able to turn small moments into a valued memory. And not having to wait for bigger celebrations to mark your milestones or progress.

Because life is all about this.

But I mean, if someone wants to gift me BTS floor seat concert tickets for 2025 then please be my guest.

So, here is to you Niki!

This is year 7 of you doing your yearly reviews and as I read older ones, I truly admire the changes you have undergone. And how you still find new ways to improve, or even new things to discover about yourself. May you have another year of affirming self-realizations, slow growth, understanding the true value of your own company, and learnings to always, always be grateful.

May the new year bring you unlimited reasons to smile, new ways to laugh, and continue to inspire you in magical ways.

Hoping for every year that’s better than the last,

Niki :)